It was bound to happen

So, as you know, I have gotten myself a girlfriend.

We've been going out for over a month, and things are good. Or so I thought. We're no longer a couple as of tonight. And to be honest, I'm a little pissed about the timing of the breakup. I haven't been sleeping well of late, and last night was no different. I didn't fall asleep till 6, and Becky knows this, so when I drive her home tonight, she tells me she knows it's a bad time, but we need to talk. She said she felt that lately I was more of a friend to her. And damn it, I'm happy she spoke up. But she could have waited 1 day, 1 fucking day to tell me. I'm not generally an angry person, nor do I get upset often. But to be honest, with lack of sleep, and school work pressing down on me, I'm more than entitled to re-act the way I'm acting. And I KNOW I'm over reacting. I know that, but I can't help it. I was truly happy for the first time in a long time. And I'm sure if she had waited that 12 hour period to talk to me, I'd be able to manage it better, but well, no such luck.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not really angry at Becky. Let's face, she was, and is out of my league. I'm a nice guy and all that, but when it comes to relationships, I'm extremely inexperienced. I guess when it comes down to it, I'm angry at myself. I truly believed I had the opportunity to be have 1 relationship, and make it last. That shit doesn't happen in real life man! I got so full of relationship bliss, I didn't even begin to think it could end. And I'm angry at that. Relationships come and go, but for my very first relationship, I honestly hoped this one would last. I really like Becky, and still do despite her shitty-ass timing for a breakup, but I have to wake up and smell the coffee, I'm in college, this shit is going to happen.

I'm in for a long night, and I'm hoping that I will be able to fall asleep. But I intend to speak to Becky a little more on the subject when I see her tomorrow.

Good night people, hope things are going well for you.

~Pi