Vent

So, the fact of the matter is I'm in a pretty bad mood.

I actually bothered to come onto my blog for the first time in forever, so as to prevent myself from blowing up.

I started full time work at Subway this week, and it's going well, but my loathing of people in general has increased, as has my inability to sleep.

You see ladies and gentleman of the intrawebs, I'm going to college in the fall, and need to pick one of the offers I got. I'm quite happy about my acceptance, but the fact of the matter is, I'm a little scared about this whole thing; With my sheltered upbringing, and my procrastinating nature, I find it really hard to do anything I need to, except go to work. And depending on where I go to college, I'm either going to be living with family, living with strangers, or living on my own. This scares me, I don't think I have the ability to take care of myself fully at this point in time, but the college with the best course has accepted me, and I'm really tempted to take it. I don't want to take the ones close to home because I am sick and tired of all the problems in my family. I am sick of having to deal with unwanted stress, which aggravates me, and denies me sleep.

Because of all that, I'm confused and scared about what to do. A very dear and close friend of mine tried to help me through it, and it's partially because of him I'm writing this, without the help of my friend, I doubt I would have come to the conclusion that I need to stop letting other people take advantage of me; I'm always putting others in front of me, and let them take advantage of me, but no more, ladies and gentleman, no more.

I've promised to myself that I will not stand by and let life suck me dry. From now on, I live for myself, and will only on occasion choose to let people use me, and even then, only when I choose.

My whole reason of this post is to vent, and to avoid doing something I will regret, but in doing so, I've strengthened my resolve, and have made my decision public.

To finish this night off, I want to thank that very close friend of mine for really being harsh with me the other night, and showing me that I'm not a fuck up, and don't give myself enough credit.

So, thank you Dan.